Le Grice, Le Grys et al.

Godmothers Bertha Cumming,Grace Monk. Lived in Taylor (Turua) St. Her mother died of a burst apendix when Zelda was 15 mths old. She was taken by her mothers sister Bessie Robinson and lived in Wanganui for two to three years until her father married in 1919 Margaret McConnell who was first of all her Nanny then her stepmother She went to St Heliers Primary School and in 1925 the new boy in school Teddy Le Grice (the handsomest boy she'd ever seen 12.12 28 Cert Proficiency S6 1929-31 Joined St Heliers Tennis Club, learned piano and dressmaking. 1931 Chns nurse for Maurice Van Staveren Epsom, 1934, Mrs Fairway Epsom.1935 Childrens nurse FHurstmere Rd, dog Teddy,1937 Fla mingo Frocks, lived Merivale Rd, Epsom with Trix Spackman married StHeliers 42 Eulogy to Zelda Phoebe Crawshaw Le Grice given by Rex Le Grice The Passing of a Gentle Woman Well Mum, its been a long voyage and now you can rest peacefully, perhaps even team up with Dad again in a celestial St Heliers far off in cyber space. Who knows? I know that I, Tony and John although it took some years to realise could never have had a mother more devoted to Dad and us boys. We were simply her life and her quiet way of looking after us has given all of us positive memories going right back to our childhood. From the beginning Mum and Dad operated as a closely bonded team, so many of our reflections about one, include the other, creating for much of our lives a cottonwool kind of safe existence, which is, after all what parenthood should be about. But Mum's life did not start that way, and her own belief was that the first couple of years affected her whole life. Her father, Jack Crawshaw, was devoted to his wife Phoebe and when she died of peritonitis when Mum was just fifteen months old, his world collapsed for a while and the children were farmed out briefly to friends and relatives Little Zelda, not even a toddler was looked after by Eva Norris briefly then sent to her mother's sister Bessie Robinson in Wanganui for a year or more. Her brothers stayed around St Heliers until Ellis went to sea and Len moved south. This left the grieving Jack to get on with finishing the family home at Devore St, St Heliers and as was practical in those days took a housekeeper in 1919, Daisy or Margaret McConnell, whom he eventually married in 1920. A family unit was now in place so back came Mum from Wanganui aged about 4 and settled into life with a stepmother and stepsister. Without going into details, the next few years were quite difficult, as young Zelda seemed not to get on well with the two of them, and her father, whom she loved, often had to step in to calm things down An email from Richard and Zelda Poore, who cannot be here today, prompted this digression. In the first few years of last century, Zelda was a fashionable name around the globe. At St Heliers Primary school there were three Zeldas. Zelda Poore and Mum were in the same class and were known as the two Zeldas and always sat together. However in one of my talks with Mum, she revealed that she never did like the name and tried to get it changed to her mother's name of Phoebe when she was only a few years old. The request was turned down flat so she lived with Zelda for the next eighty or so years This St Heliers school was significant as my brother John went there for a year, I taught my first year of teaching there but most importantly it was here in 1925 that she first met young Teddy Le Grice whom she described as the 'handsomest boy she had ever seen " He repaid the compliment by dipping her long plaits into inkwells. In Christmas1928 Mum passed her Proficiency exam. From 1929 to 1931 she learned dressmaking and the Piano, which she was pretty good at, and may even have become a piano teacher The Crawshaws and Le Grices lived quite close to each other in St Heliers and as young teens had what Mum calls an 'innocent close friendship' and often the two families socialised together This became important as Mum became close friends with Dad's Mum, our Nana, and she began to learn some of the English cooking recipes so essential to their diet There was a gap of a few years when Mum left St Heliers to be a nanny in 1931 for the Van Staveren family in Epsom, then in 1934 for a Mrs Fairway in Epsom and finally in 1935 as a children's nurse in Hurstmere Rd, Takapuna. At this time she had a dog called Teddy. I learned only yesterday that she very nearly drowned in Thorne's Beach but was saved just in time. She then moved to Epsom again, but was soon working as a machinist for a company called Flamingo Frocks She had begun to experience a bit of liberty. She moved into a boarding house in Merivale Rd. run by singer who called herself Mme Bellini There she met and formed a life-long friendship with my godmother, Trixie Spackman, later Beer, an agnostic, a socialist who wore slacks and smoked. At about the same time Ted started to court her in earnest, albeit from an Army Indian Motorbike. Although I tried many times, she gave me very few inklings of that courtship, except to say that she could not make up her mind quickly and turned Dad's proposals down a couple of times, hastily adding, not because she didn't love him but because of the uncertainty of the coming War. World War II did came along so they put off getting married until finally in 1942 they were married by Archbishop Simpkin in St Philips Church in St Heliers Dad was serving with the New Zealand Air Force in Bouganville, and after a brief honeymoon had to return to the Islands almost immediately but every so often he came home on leave. They did not yet have a home, so after staying with Dad's parents for a while in St Heliers, Mum rented a small house in Mangere, their first nest. In Late 1943 along came their first son, Tony, but Dad had only a couple of months with his firstborn before he was called back to the islands. Looking at the amount of photos of Tony that went to Bouganville, they obviously kept in touch by photo and letter very well The War finished in September 1945, and I was on the way and in November, with a supreme effort, I was born. Mum used to tell me that although rationing and shortages continued for some years, it was a relief that first I, then John a couple of years later were born in peacetime. So our little family of five settled into a house in Royal Oak that holds for all of us such happy memories of childhood. Although plagued with asthma and laryngitis Mum did everything she could to make life good for us all We had a big garden, a couple of dozen laying hens, fruit trees and a herb garden, but for Mum life was a constant juggle, boiling up the copper, washing clothes and bedding for us, putting it through the wringer, hanging it on the line bringing it in, ironing some of it, and often late into the night lets not forget sewing us new clothes that she was so good at. She cooked meat and three vegetables every night except Friday when Dad would take over and make the most delicious fish and chips. And of course for several years, there was only a butter cooler until the Leonard refrigerator came along much later. As well as this there were puddings biscuits cakes. Everything to keep the tummies filled for the growing family In about 1949, Dads father Bert moved in with us after his wife Ethel died. This put added pressure on Mum because Papa was a kindly but stubborn Londoner, so a change in the menu was requested and Mum had to make dishes like Toad in the hole, Roast beef and Yorkshire Pud and steam puddings like Spotted Dick. We were also initiated into wondrous meals such as Honeycomb Tripe, Onions and Worcestor Sauce and smoked kippers for breakfast. Another detail worth mentioning were the delicious cut lunches Mum made for us most days with rich rye bread enclosing combinations of fillings such as walnut, celery and cream cheese, or grated carrot with sultanas etc etc Mum only just coped with all this and when her laryngitis rendered her voiceless, we three boys were summoned to do our duties with a whistle, one blast for Tony, two blasts for me and three blasts for John. As we became involved with Cubs and Scouts another role developed for Mum. The family had an Austin Six car, biggish and heavy to steer, and later a huge Studebaker Champion but Mum used to drive us all to our varying interests and the steering would give her shoulder pain. Throughout all this I don't think any of us heard a single complaint. Mum had a calm methodical way of doing things that seemed to get everything done. We were well organised mind you, rotating jobs for all and we knew that if our duties weren't completed we would have a penny docked from our weekly wages. Mum lamented the fact that she was unable to have a good cry about anything, but I caught her crying just once. Not when Dad died mind you, but years before in Royal Oak. We had a family Cocker Spaniel called the Toff of Blue Roan or just plain 'Toff.' He developed canker in his hairy droopy ears and had to be put down. Dad had the job of burying the body under the massive grapefruit tree but Mum did not want to watch. I followed her quietly into her bedroom and she cried her heart out hugging me at the same time. In 1960 we all moved to Devore St, St Heliers and a new phase in our lives began. This was Mums coming home to the house that her father had built for his young wife and family. She set about turning it into a relaxed and comfortable place to live. It was lovely with its million-dollar view and it was the base for our teenage activity for some years. The things we were able to do were, by today's standards almost dangerous or at least foolhardy, but Mum supported us in these endeavours. She loved the water and would swim the length of St Heliers pretty well all year round into her seventies. We boys grew older, left home, married etc for the following three decades etc, but there was nothing Mum liked better than to have us round to dinner, first at St Heliers then later at Pakuranga Park Village. Her life was her family, and a tangible way of continuing to see them was for them to visit her and Dad for any excuse. Beautifully cooked dinners were slowly replaced with takeways from around Pakuranga, and it was a good way continue to see her three boys and also to keep an eye on her grandsons, Justin, Nigel, Dave and Jack as well as her one great-grandson, James. It seemed this cosy existence could go on forever but a single accident rocked their lives late in the 1990s. They always did things as a couple and as they had done a thousand times before Mum was out shopping with Dad at a supermarket not far from here. Dad had a dodgy knee, and he slipped on a bit of moisture on the floor falling down heavily on top of Mum. He was well padded, but Mum's bones were brittle and she broke bones in her shoulder, arm and hip. This began her long stay in Middlemore as she was patched up. Dad was unable to look after himself well and he fell over at home and joined Mum in Middlemore. When finally they were both discharged, they had decided to spend the rest of their days at Lansdowne Rest Home in Howick. Mum was in the Hospital part rehabilitating her walking ability and Dad was in the residential section. They spent their days together. It was not long before Dad went back to Middlemore where he passed away in July 2000. One of the good things about Mum in the last five years has been her mind. She never 'lost her marbles' and in our visits to her when the weather and small talk was finished, a reasonable discussion could be had. I usually had one or more questions regarding family history, or a few photos needing identification, and her memory was clear, adding a great deal of colour to especially the Crawshaw Family Tree, as well as details about our family life that we never knew about. Another thing is that she always tried to be cheerful, maintaining a smile, which was her style throughout her life. Even if times were difficult, 'grin and bear it' were her watchwords; 'Don't ever complain' would not be far behind. A couple of curious items to complete this eulogy Mum was born in St Heliers, much of her life was there also, with a full-frontal view of Rangitoto, so when we were discussing where she would like her ashes spread, she thought for a while, then said impishly that she would like her ashes cast to the four winds from the top of Rangitoto. Now it may have been flippant, but I am going to try to achieve that wish, with anyone who wants to come along for the ride. When Shane from Davis Funerals came around to sort out the Funeral arrangements, my son Jack and I were sitting on a blanket underneath my large cherry blossom tree trying to stay cool. Shane in his dark funeral suit elected to join us rather than go inside. We sorted things out and noticed a Thrush had joined us close by. Now in my discussions with Mum, and although I did not know she even thought about reincarnation, one day she said "You know, when I die, I would like to come back as a thrush" I recalled that conversation to them and we concluded that Mum was with us and hopefully was giving approval to the arrangements we had just made. I know that every thrush I see from now on will make me think of that gentle woman we had the good fortune to have as our Mum. Feb 2005

Eulogy to Zelda Phoebe Crawshaw Le Grice I Rex Le Grice

Feb 2005

Baptism and Wedding held at St Phillips Church